What is Boytalkinfeelz?
In short: My thoughts. My feelings. My life.
Before you get caught up in all this shit, you should read this to understand what I'm writing and why I'm doing this. See this as an intro, foreword or just an attempt for me to explain...
At the end of 2021, my girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me in one of the most fucked up and surreal places in Australia. I live here as a backpacker. I don't know why I started doing it back then, but suddenly, as if in a frenzy, I simply wrote down all the thoughts, feelings and emotions that were inside me. And somehow it was good for me, I even liked it. Then I found out that this is called an emotion diary. What's strange is that I never thought that of myself because I always thought reading and books were shit, I always fell asleep straight away after 2 pages and now I'm writing a diary. Oh well.
In any case, I realized what a powerful tool it was for me to get in touch with myself and my feelings, something I unfortunately never learned as a child. At some point I was so brave and showed the texts to other people, friends... and then I realized that everything I do also concerns other people and that I can perhaps make a small contribution to helping people Maybe question yourself more, reflect on yourself or just feel understood. Above all, I believe that men in particular often have the same problems and difficulties in coming to terms with their inner self, as unfortunately in our society they are still often denied the right to feel and be sensitive because otherwise they would be effeminate pussies , After all, feelings are for women and men don't cry... that's what the stuck, outdated role models predict. But it is important to change that, for each individual personally, but also for us as a society.
This whole thing is an ongoing experiment for me. I hope that by essentially getting naked here, revealing my absolute innermost self and sharing it with the world, I will encourage others to at least try it for themselves. I don't know how long this will all last. I don't know if I have the strength, the inspiration, or the courage to write every day. But I know that as long as I continue here, I have a chance to continue working on myself and developing myself.
This is the absolute purest and most honest expression of my being, for me it is art and I very much hope that you, who give me your time and read this, also perceive it as such. In my desire to convey everything as authentically and unadulterated as possible, I simply write down what is in my head without thinking. My choice of words is sometimes harsh or just wrong because I honestly have no fucking idea how to write. But I like that it's so raw, so honest and sometimes hard and fucked up. I will only change the names of the people appearing.
It will often be about my thoughts and feelings, my mental health, drug abuse, love, sex, and critical questioning of social structures and ideas. Travel and new experiences. About processing and overcoming trauma and, above all, the desire to find happiness somehow, somewhere, at some point.
So then..