New Year's Eve. I wake up and I'm still quite depressed, insecure. I will see her again today.

I can hardly get out of bed, I'm totally exhausted. Drag me to work and try to wake up.

Woke up with a message from her, a long message. A lot of criticism of me, some justified, others I find less so.

Woke up and I feel like I've lost everything I ever had since yesterday.

I woke up Sara this morning to do yoga with me.

I wake up feeling like shit, my throat hurts from all the smoking yesterday, my head from all the beers. But she is next to me.

4 hours sleep, wake up and feel like shit, hangover. Love comes to my place around 10:30am and we talk.

I wake up, check my phone to see if I need to make breakfast for two. All I can find is more uncertainty.

I wake up and remember a dream. I'm walking through the wasteland with one person, dust, dirt, sand everywhere.

I feel fooled.

I listen to lil Peep. Songs like "u said", "star shopping".. but actually it doesn't matter which song I listen to.

Today I felt anger.

47°C. Brain-Error.

We're talking about what happened yesterday.

I felt good today! Unlike usual, I was able to sleep longer today and even had breakfast with her.

I felt many different emotions inside me today.

The short conversation last night felt really good. I feel safer again.

When she came to the pool yesterday it was weird. We behave as if nothing happened, talk to each other normally.