12/22/2021
- Pointless negativity -
I feel fooled. My team leader asked me yesterday if I could start at 6 instead of 7. No problem. A little later, yesterday evening, I check my shift for today and see that I actually have nightshift from 11am to 9:30pm. I think they may have messed up the shifts again. Happens more often that my shifts change 2-3x, depending on where someone is needed. So I start at 6am. Around 9am I ask my team leader whether I work until 4pm or 5pm because I started earlier. She tells me coldly to my face that I have to do Nightshift from 4 am to 9:30pm.
I'm shocked.
I feel completely fooled because nobody here makes clear announcements. Just fuck you bums. We are just a team of 3 people: my team leader, another woman and me. The two women can't do Nightshift because they have families and children. It's not my fucking problem, I think. I'm looking for a culprit. Are the others just jerks who screwed me over? Should I have asked more specifically and not assumed that shifts were simply swapped, as has often happened? I'm pissed off, I just don't know who. But what good does that do me? Instead, I prefer to think that I earn a lot of money that way, which is good. I still feel exploited. I try to see it as a challenge:
If I can work through 15 hours at 40°C, then I can easily do everything else that lies ahead of me!
At the end of the day I can hardly stand, let alone walk. I pick up a pizza from the bistro, which she kindly put back for me, and sit outside with her and other work colleagues for a moment. After the pizza, I quickly pop in two beers and a few fags and hang in my chair like a zombie. She takes me to my caravan to help me. I'm going to take a shower, she comes over shortly afterwards. Our two naked bodies close together in this little shower. I feel her skin and immediately miss her closeness. I fall into bed half dead and ask her to stay with me and hug me, just for 10 minutes. It feels good to be the one being held. She gives me a short, gentle kiss, then she leaves.
