01/10/2022
- The most open space -
Nervous, no. I am the calm itself. Excited, definitely. Can't wait to see how much fun we're going to have. Probably every man's dream scenario, a threesome with two women. I am infinitely grateful to be able to have these experiences and then also with the person who means the most to me. I lie in bed. Love is still next to me. It's half past two in the morning, I have to work at six o'clock. We were first in front of our caravan, then in the pub. Talked a lot and told stories. The atmosphere couldn't have been more relaxed, but each of us could only guess what was ahead of us.
I feel no pressure, no nervousness.
I'm sure it will be a wonderful experience no matter what happens. Back at the caravan, we sit just in front of it and continue chatting, enter the caravan and continue the conversation a little longer. I find myself in my role. The feeling of having two incredibly wonderful women in front of me and being in control gives me a feeling of having arrived.
For me, it's not primarily about power.
Much more I find myself in a space where it's all about pure joy, lust, for me. I kind of feel at home. Maybe a place where I can be sure I won't be judged. Not a shell to take refuge in, quite the opposite, it's the most open space, with no walls, no borders. I can feel myself weaving into this space that surrounds me. Unbelievable what just happened.
I'm undecided after all this.
I'm not sure whether I should let this in-between world become reality or whether it will continue to shift in the direction of a dream. So much that I have wished for or hoped for for a long time is happening. I'm not even talking about having sex with two women at the same time. The change I'm going through and understanding myself better day by day, recognizing and realizing who I really am and who I want to be. I wonder what's next.
